Breastfeeding and Maternal Mental Health
Breastfeeding and mental health are individually complex but intertwined topics. We’ve seen a huge push in the last decade for people to breastfeed, almost at the expense of everything else.
So our question here is- if the baby is getting all the ‘amazing benefits’ of breastmilk, what are they losing out on from a parent who may be struggling emotionally, psychologically and physically with trying to achieve this feat? On the one hand, studies show that breastfeeding can lower maternal stress and protect maternal mood; on the other hand, we know it can augment symptoms of PPD, particularly if it becomes challenging or in some instances if the parent had planned on breastfeeding and was unable to.
The message many parents absorb when our society talks about breastmilk is that it has incredible benefits and should be done at the risk of everything else-your freedom, your sleep, your sanity- and if it doesn’t work out there will be irreversible consequences, and then you should just curl up into a pile of guilt, shame and become engulfed in an identity of failure as a parent. We need to alter this message as we support new parents. For those that want to breastfeed/give breastmilk - we are here to support them and assist them with the things that can help it happen in the hopes that it is an enjoyable experience for both the infant and the caregiver. And if it is not, or it is not something the parents plan to do; that that is OK too. Our bond with our kids is about WAY more than just the milk. Let’s remind ourselves of this in the moment of struggle and distress. Repeat: Our bond with our kids is about WAY more than just the milk.
As social workers and psychotherapists we often ask parents to reflect on what emotions come up when signs and messages that promote breastfeeding or formula feeding are present. This allows us the opportunity to begin to tune into our own emotions and experiences as opposed to those projected on to us or informed by mass media and culture.
We’ve included a brief list of reflection prompts to consider on your journey:
What assumptions do you have around each feeding option?
What judgements of our self are coming up and perhaps are inaccurate?
Do the expectations others have around how you feed your baby impact your choice?
What are the moments of connection and relationship building that happen outside of feedings?
Take a moment to tune into your intuition here:
What feels okay?
What makes sense for you and your baby?
What aligns with your values and your reality?
If you’ve had a judgemental experience around feedings, for example while nursing in public or receiving unsolicited advice on formula brands, notice what words come up while you reflect on this experience. Anger, rage, feelings of failure, not giving a shit? What’s the story you’re telling yourself about this experience?
Whatever your feeding journey may be, we are here to support you. Whatever you decide to be the best fit and make the most sense for your family, we got you.