To our wellbe community: A Love Letter
It’s no secret that we’ve seen and experienced a lot over the last three years. We’ve waited for the pandemic to end as best as we could, navigating online work, online education, online celebrations, and online dating (to name a few). We probably paid more attention to our health than we ever had before— some of us welcoming new additions to the family, and some of us keeping in mind our elderly or immunocompromised friends and/or family members. We did the best we could. What we didn’t anticipate was the increase in our mental health symptoms due to the forced isolation and lack of normalcy we experienced during COVID-19. We also did not anticipate the increase in violent acts happening across the globe. We were exposed to levels of hatred against the Black, Asian, and Jewish communities (amongst others) that we had never witnessed; we saw communities riot, protest, and stand in unison against hatred. We’ve all been through a lot.
Recently, the news of the TTC attacks has many of us again feeling on edge & frightened and has challenged our perception of safety in a city we love. We may find ourselves worrying a little bit more about our kids taking transit to school or our own commute. We may experience heightened senses, rapid heart rate, and even panic. These acts of violence are happening in our own backyards and we can feel out of control with how we are supposed to manage ourselves and/or the safety of our family. As a therapist, I’ve noticed that people are struggling with how to make sense of the world, how to have these conversations with their children regarding safety, and how they can manage anxieties and fears around the everyday.
The truth?
These feelings and worries we are having are normal for what is happening around us. Our environment is such a key player in how we interpret the world, and ourselves, and when it feels out of sorts - we do too.
There are things we can do to lessen our- very valid- fears and anxieties about our environment, and the world.
First and foremost, it is important to have conversations about basic safety with our children and families. We used to do this a lot as children: look both ways before you cross the street, cross at pedestrian crossings, don’t talk to strangers, be aware of your surroundings, etc. Increasing these check-in points with our kids (and ourselves) isn’t something scary, it’s something empowering! And it also reinforces the control we have in feeling safe and aware.
Here are some other ways we can stay safe in the community:
be alert
check-in with loved ones if you or they are commuting
buddy up
utilize alternate methods of transport (if possible)
turn your music down. this is important because we want sensory access to our surroundings at all times and our ability to accurately hear what is going on around us can increase our awareness.
always practice transit safety: don’t stand too close to the road or too close to the edge of the subway platform.
maintain personal space boundaries
take a self-defence class (could be fun!)
And above all….
TRUST YOUR GUT. Your safety and your well-being are more important than anything.
Lastly, seek support. Whether from loved ones, friends, teachers, counsellors, doctors, or therapists— the village we have cultivated can be so helpful in increasing feelings of safety, love, support, and trust. During times of increased stress and uncertainty our ability to care for ourselves dips and this is a great time to talk to people who can support you. Therapy can be such a welcome addition in times like this because we may need a place to dump our worries and fears, talk through our spiralling thoughts, and revisit our own coping strategies. Therapy is also a great excuse to practice mental wellness self-care. And you know we got you :)
This post was written by wellbe’s social worker Tiffany Lewis. If you are in need of support, you can book an in-person or virtual visit with our social workers here.